“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi
Ten years ago, words like “like”, “follow”, “friend”, “unfriend” “blocked” either didn’t exist in every day language, or had very different meanings.
Now many of us – myself included – get our Dopamine hit on Facebook, Twitter or Imstagram.
Social media has its bright side and it’s shadow.
The bright side is around connection and learning, a healthy stimulation.
The shadow is around altered relationships, words without emotion, the reduction of complexities to a choice of 26 black on white letters.
A friendship ended recently for me. Someone I had known both in person and on social media, professionally and as a friend. Some words and actions left me unsettled so I consciously sought to distance myself, withdrawing from our “friendship” on social media, whilst seeking to retain both professional and in person connections. Alas there was an escalation, more words, and I found myself blocked, and told by email “please don’t ever contact me again”.
Strong words and difficult times in a friendship. Maybe an ex friendship for ever. Maybe for a time.
Of course, it takes two to tango, and for me there is a questioning and searching, “What could I have done differently?”, and “Why is this energy like this?”
Yoga philosophy would suggest we all emanate from the Universe in some form and return there some day one our footsteps on earth cease. If we come from the energy of the Universe and return there, then, as universal energy, how can we fall out and squabble? Why is human existence one with conflict weaved through it?
The answer lies somewhere around the temporal filters we operate through. One teaching that made a lot of sense to me was around the function of our throat chakra Vishuddi – commonly considered to be about communication – speaking and listing – Anodea Judith also describes Vishuddi in terms of resonance and wave patterns. If our resonance or wave pattern clashes with that of another or with the collective around us then just as uneven wavelengths on the sea conflating with one another cause turbulence and rough water, so will such conflation of unequal resonance in our interactions with others. The way through that is difficult, just like rough seas need time to calm with the swell being evident long after the storm, so fractured relationships take time to calm.
Meanwhile we exist in the midst of the turbulence, we can do nothing else, but take refuge in it being a facet of life rather than something we can control.
Even the best of friends
Give in sometimes to their darker side
Put up a wall of stubborn pride
Not willing to make amends
Even the best of friends
Betray your trust in a moment of anger
And it’s so easy to point a finger
And that’s how it all begins
With even the best of friendsEven the best of friends
Don’t always see things eye to eye
Won’t always understand just why
But that’s when they should try to bend
Even the best of friends
They need to cling to their common ground
Before the hurt starts coming down
And they can’t turn around again
Even the best of friendsRandy Stonehill – Even the Best of Friends
